Day 7--Sissinghurst

I think that if I were to stay in England for only one more week, I would come home unconsciously speaking with an English accent. But when people would ask why I was talking in an English accent, I would reply, in an English accent, "Because I've just been in f***ing England, you stupid sod!"

Sorry, I was watching the Sex Pistols movie on the telly last night.

OK, today's travel tip for the aspiring world traveller is this: never plan anything extensive on a Sunday. The normally constant and comprehensive English mass transit system that we have come to take for granted does not operate at full capacity on Sunday. As a result, trying to book transportation to Sissinghurst Gardens today proved to be a bit of an ordeal. Now I should have thought back to my experience in Italy when I tried to find transport to Capri on a Sunday in the off-season, and found myself having to make serious compromises. Travel tip No. 2: never presume anything.

After trying fruitlessly to find a direct bus route, I called the gardens themselves only to discover that most of the information on their website is obsolete. Or as the locals would say, pure rubbish. A bus was out of the question, so we were left with the train. Only after contacting National Rail did we discover a fairly direct route by train to the town nearest the gardens, Staplehurst. From there a cab driver at the station would take us over to the gardens.
Hence travel tip No. 3: never trust the website. Always call first.

Oh, and did you know that it rains in England? The weather today was, to quote Tracy's husband Steve, "Cold, wet, and 'orrible!" Eric Idle was right when he spoke about the English and how they react to the weather. However, Sissinghurst Garden was one of the main reasons for the trip and one of the main reasons we stayed in Kent County. So we were determined to get there. After getting the transportation situation sorted out, we made it at last to the gardens a little after 1:00, had lunch and tea, and went out to tour the grounds, along with a gaggle of German tourists. It was rainy, windy and cold, but I still managed to get some nice shots of the grounds. The garden is in full bloom later in June, which is peak season, but that means it is also packed with tourists, and we had enough trouble today with the bloody Germans, so we were content with the natural beauty on display (reminding me of Debussy's "Jardins sous la pluie"). Some of the structures on the grounds date back to Elizabethan times, but the gardens themselves came into existence in the 1930s. Mother absolutely loved the gardens and estate, regardless of the weather, and plans on staying at the Sissinghurst B&B during one of her return trips to England.

After dinner at an Italian restaurant in Sandwich, we returned home to the warmth and comfort of Molland House, our temporary home for the last seven days. Tomorrow we fly back to America.

Despite my insomnia-induced emotional funhouse ride earlier in the week, I have very much enjoyed this sojourn to Ol' Blighty, and I can speak for mother when I say she found it wonderful. Canterbury was definitely my favorite, and my overall favorite day, but other highlights were certainly: spending time with Edouard in London, the boat tour up the Thames, walking the streets of Sandwich, The Secret Garden, and most of the food. For mother the highlight was finally spending time in a country that has over the years become a part of her psyche. I'm glad she was able to make the trip.

Next stop for me: Quebec, autumn 2010, with my lady love. :-D

John FishNChips, signing off.

Cheers!

P.S. A very special thank you to my sister Emily for suggesting the trip. Mother and I missed you not being here, but knew you were here in spirit. Thanks for all your comments on the blog!

Day 6--London (with special guest Edouard)

Last night I popped on The Kinks' album "The Village Green Preservation Society" after posting the Canterbury blog, and it all came together for me. Here's a link if you want to listen to it while perusing this blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL9tyzE83nc

On the way to the train station this morning the radio was playing the main theme music from Barry Lyndon. I don't know why, but suddenly hearing the music from an English film I have known for over 23 years while driving through rustic Olde English streets got me kinda choked up. Here's a link if you want to listen to it (but not while reading the blog--it's a little darker than the Kinks): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91sfrw106xs&feature=related

OK, here's a travel tip for the average American not familiar with non-American holidays: don't go into London on May Day, especially if it's a Saturday. Unless you like crowds and total chaos.

Mother and I were entertained on the 2 hour-plus train ride from Sandwich to Charing Cross by a car load of friendly, hard-drinking army rugby players. Yes, you can carry open containers on commuter trains in England. The lads all had a good laugh when we told them that in America, open containers are definitely not allowed on mass transit. For some reason, they were drinking Budweiser.

We left Charing Cross and met up with Edouard at Nelson's Column in Trafalgar Square. Edouard is a young Frenchman I met 4 years ago in Iceland. A year later we met up again in Paris. I was making a circuit around the column and suddenly he was there. We then managed to squeeze into a restaurant off the main square and grab a quick lunch. Mother had barbequed spare ribs while Edouard and I enjoyed chicken tikka masala. Though we frequently correspond by email (I'm currently helping him with the English on his MBA entrance exams), Edouard and I haven't actually seen each other in person in three years. We talked politics and compared different customs. He and my mother got on very well, and he was very helpful to me as we had to negotiate our way to Westminster Pier. You see, because of the May Day parades, most of the streets in and out of the area were closed, so the tour bus we were hoping to take was running behind. So we elected to take the River Thames tour first. But that involved a long walk down the main avenue Whitehall. There's some video of our stroll at the bottom of the page. (Not sure why I decided to start filming as we were strolling past construction equipment. And I hope to become a filmmaker one day...)
It wasn't so bad until we got down to Big Ben and the crowds got very thick indeed. Also I forgot what Westminster Abbey is called.

We struggled our way down to the pier but made it onto the correct boat. The boat tour was very nice and provided me one of the few opportunities of the day to get some decent pictures. But as you can see from the selection above, the great weather that we've had all week was about to come to an end.

At the Tower of London (fourth picture from the top above) we decamped from the boat and made it onto one of the tour buses. Unfortunately it was one without a tour guide, making it feel like we were on just another commuter bus. This, coupled with the massive traffic congestion, helped us decide to get off at the next stop, which fortunately for us was Charing Cross Station, which put us back in Trafalgar Square. By now the rain was not a gentle English drizzle but a "right proper splashing" as I imagine a native would say. When it looked as if a bus tour was no longer imminent, due to the congestion and chaos generated by rain and marching May Day "unionists," we elected to nip on over to the Sherlock Holmes Restaurant to dry out. There we received a very heavy English meal followed by very heavy English desserts, mostly of the pudding and custard variety. When we emerged an hour and a half later, the rain had abated, but unfortunately we had to part ways with Edouard, who is staying in London through the weekend with his cousin. Edouard and I have now met up in three different countries. Perhaps next time, it will be in the States.

Mother and I got back to Molland House around 10:30. Tomorrow we hope to go to Sissinghurst Gardens, one of the main reasons for this trip. However, a direct bus route there and back is proving difficult to find. More drastic measures may be necessary. Stay tuned.

John FishNChips, London Town

Day 5--Canterbury

I asked Tracy the other day whether Molland House was haunted. She's lived here seven years, and says she's never seen or heard anything. However, she says one of the cleaners swore she once saw a man in a long dark cloak walk down the hallway without making a sound, and a relative of Tracy's swears she once heard and saw the swish of petticoats at the top of the stairs.

* * *

Well, each night I'm getting a few more hours sleep, and my head cold has improved, though I still have the sniffles. After kippers (smoked fish) for breakfast, and a quick nap, we went to Canterbury. Now the trip is starting to catch some steam. The first thing we did, after lunch, was the boat tour. There is a brief film clip at the bottom of the page (unfortunately I was unable to capture any of the tour guide's frequently witty observations, so the footage makes the tour seem like a dry history lesson, when in fact it was quite entertaining).

After the boat tour, we detoured over to the remains of the old Franciscan monastery (top picture above), which was a nice bit of tranquility in what is really a very busy city. Then we detoured for about an hour into the Roman museum, which was interesting, although the place was swamped with French students.

Our next stop was Canterbury Cathedral. Although not as big as Notre Dame, it certainly is breathtaking, and it is certainly the largest cathedral mother has ever seen. Inside we met up with an assistant or docent, a very friendly and amusing guide who gave us an impromptu tour of "the crypt," which, despite it's name, is quite vast, open, and beautiful. She pointed out interesting historical and architectural details that might have escaped our notice, and did so in a very entertaining way. Shakespeare wrote that "All the world's a stage" but he might well have said "All England's a stage."
After the cathedral, we had tea and pastries at a corner patisserie, where we made the acquaintance of Alissa, our server, a drama student from nearby University of Kent (yes, another actor), and spent a long time swapping impressions of our respective countries. The English, on the whole, have made us feel quite welcome. Even the cabbies have been friendly.
After a French dinner, we caught the bus back to Ash. Tonight another attempt will be made at a good night's sleep before our sojourn to London tomorrow. Cheers!
John FishNChips, haunting the streets of Olde England
P.S. By Franciscan I, of course, mean the religious order founded by St. Francis of Assisi. There are still Franciscan monks in Canterbury, and we saw a few of them walking down the street in their traditional monkish garb amidst crowds of mostly college kids in contemporary fashion. Franciscans are not to be confused with San Franciscans, who wear much less clothing and are usually on roller blades.

Day 4--Roman fort and the Secret Garden

Well, I still have a head cold but I managed to get a few hours sleep this morning, which helped get me through the day. Mother and I went up to see Richborough Roman Fort. It was mother's first opportunity to see actual Roman ruins, but they're mostly just foundations. It was very quiet and tranquil though. I hiked over to the amphitheater, which is just grass on top of a hill, no foundations or anything. I laid me down in the green grass of England and took some pictures of nearby cows.

We then went down into Sandwich, had lunch and spent a couple of hours in the Secret Garden. One of the main reasons for doing this trip was so that mother could tour some actual English gardens. We're hoping to do Sissinghurst Garden on Sunday, but the rains came in late this afternoon, and it may rain on and off all weekend. Oh well. On to Canterbury tomorrow and London on Saturday, where we will be doing the London tour with Edouard. Til then, as the locals say, Cheers!

John FishNChips, hiking the moors

Day 3--Ash

Well, mother and I were supposed to go to Canterbury today, but my head cold got very severe this morning in terms of congestion in my sinuses, exacerbated no doubt by my continuing lack of sleep. Mother, however, is well and has been sleeping, so she decided to go explore the village of Ash and possibly the Secret Garden over in Sandwich today, and we'll do Canterbury either on Friday or Sunday, by which time hopefully I will have my act together.

John FishNChips

Addendum: though I didn't get a nap, I did eat lunch, take a shower, and went down into the village for a walk, all of which was a big psychological boost. Mother didn't make it to The Secret Garden, but she did find some tea houses in Sandwhich. I've posted some pictures above of the main church in Ash and its environs, as well as a shot of me with one of the Molland House kitties.

Day 2--Sandwich

Day 2 started off rough for your exhausted blogger, as my Sleep Deprivation Experiment continues, and my head cold is not making things anymore pleasant in that department. Nevertheless, mother got some sleep so she was up for an afternoon self-guided walking tour of the nearby medieval town of Sandwich. We had fish n' chips at a restaurant that was built in the 1780s as a coach house. We even stopped in a local co-op supermarket and bought some items. We plan to tour a local garden, named, funny enough, The Secret Garden, on Sunday, weather permitting. Mother loved the town's architecture, it's cluster of picturesque homes, and we ended the day relaxing in the courtyard/sanctuary of the town cathedral. I'm now waiting for dinner to be served, after which I plan to take one of mother's Benadryls to help with my congestion and hopefully help me to sleep for 12 hours. Then I'll be bright as kippers!

John FishNChips, Esq.

P.S. Travel tip--in England, there is no need to tip the cabbies anything more than a pound.

Day 1--Arrival

Our journey from Havre de Grace, MD, to Ash, Kent County, England turned out to be more arduous than it needed to be. Everything was fine until a thunderstorm swooped in and decided to sit on top of BWI Airport, causing a three-hour delay in taking off. In fact at one point we had to turn back to the gate to refuel because we had been sitting on the tarmac so long. I started to wonder if it would have been quicker if we drove.

But one way or another we made it here. First, by extremely expensive taxi cab from Heathrow to Charing Cross Station; then, two and a half hour train ride from London to Sandwich; and finally another cab ride to the Molland House. I have included pictures of its interior and exterior above. The owner, Tracy, is extremely outgoing and friendly, and a fantastic cook to boot. Mother and I both had cottage pie for supper. We started things off the English way. We look forward greatly to breakfast tomorrow.

Now I'm typing up this post on Tracy's computer because my wi-fi connection won't work. As usual, technology problems follow me like a shadow. I am always prohibited for some reason, and of course whatever I have is never good enough. Probably why sometimes I'd like to scrap it all. OK, this is not a very upbeat opening to this blog, but this is what jet lag and zero hours of sleep will do to you. Exhausted and tired, this is John FishNChips, Esq., signing off.

Or, John Takes His Mother to England for a Week

So after two years I finally get to return to Europe, and what happens? Freakin' volcano! That wasn't even on the list of probabilities. I used to love Iceland, but now they're pissin' me off!

No, seriously, I love how Iceland makes such a nuisance of itself.

Actually we were more depressed at the possibility of being stranded in the U.S. instead of England. This is my mother's first overseas adventure (my fourth) and we've been planning it for over two years. It was intended to be a retirement/65th birthday present from my sister and me, but my sister and her husband adopted a child instead. And that's a whole other different kind of adventure. :-)

So I'll be taking Mom to England for a week. We plan to visit gardens, tea rooms, London and Canterbury. I also plan to meet up with my "French connection" Edouard. (OK, that's a joke, DEA!) And we'll be staying right outside a town called Sandwich. And given the recent volcanic ash that strangled European air travel, it is even more ironic that our B&B is located right outside Sandwich in a little village called . . . Ash. You just can't make this stuff up.

We leave on Sunday April 25th on the red eye.

Til then . . . Cheerio!

John FishNChips, Esquire